Two Sides
Welcome to another adventure from the Thousand Acre Woods deep within Trollheim of the NJ Pine Belt! Tales Chronicled by Jonathan Hulton. That's me. Today I'm going to tell of the tale of how Gramps and Karl almost killed each other out in the Jimsonweed fields of Trollheim...
One day, while Karl and Gramps were harvesting Jimsonweed, a strange critter walked in between the two of them. Well, this was Gast the Jersey Devil; at this time, many years ago, neither one of them had ever seen him before. I might add that seeing the Jersey Devil for the first time is quite disconcerting.
After a few hours, Karl asked Gramps about the critter who walked past the field with the red stripe. Gramps argued that he had a green stripe.
"What! Are you blind, you old fool? That dodo-like creature had a red stripe!" yelled Karl.
"You have been sipping on too much mead lately, and it is making you as feeble and blind as an old woman!" retorted Gramps.
Things escalated quickly, and these two old friends got violent.
So Gramps took the fumigator, stepped on Karl's bottom lip, lifted his mouth wide open, and shot flowers and hotdogs down his throat.
So Karl found a zipper in Gramps forehead and began to unzip his skin, revealing that Gramps had really a flower for a head all the time.
Gramps then turned Karl's head into a balloon and popped it to really find out what Karl thought about things.
Karl then grabs a bag of fertilizer that was standing nearby and blows some at Gramps, causing him to sprout an apple tree from his head.
They were both hungry and tired, and they manifested what was on their minds at the time.
Gramps breaks the tree from his noggin and swings it at Karl, who broke open like a piñata.
Then they engaged in the classic wizard battle, manifesting snakes, bats, cats, and bowling balls thrown at each other with violent force.
In the middle of the flying sparks of this magician battle, a gastornis approached them, revealing a green strip on its head to the left and a red one on the right.
It was then that Bjorn found the two of them in a jumble, stoned on Jimsonweed, sitting on the ground and laughing at something he could not see.
If you like this tale, hit the share button below or just even tell your friend the old fashion way, with your mouth. Come back next week for our next tale.
Fiction/ Illustrated Fantasy/ Mythology / Scandinavian Myth/ Norse Sagas / Scandinavian Folk Lore / Coffee Table Book
Paperback: $45 | Hardcover: $65 | PDF eBook $5
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Following the Harry N. Abrams, Inc. tradition of the series that created Brian Froud's and Alan Lee's Faeries and Gnomes by Wil Huygen and Rien Poortvliet, we present you with what would have been the next book in the series: Trolls: A Compendium. Trolls—do you think you know what they are? Could you be wrong?
Trolls within Scandinavian lore, myth, saga, fantasy, and folktales are actually anything magical within our northern neighbor's culture. Richly illustrated (Over 600 paintings) in this volume are the tales of faeries, dwarves, nissen, huldras, gods, Jotuns, draugar, ghosts, and more. Also, this book introduces our readers to the world of Trollheim, populated by Nattrolls that escaped the 17th-century Swedish colony within the New Jersey Pine Barrens. Narrated by Christopher Jonathan Hulton, who lives in the Thousand Acre Woods just after the Civil War, their tales are filled with Native American lore and tales of their neighbor, the Jersey Devil.
Preview: Google Books
Hardcover: $65.00
PDF (non-flowable, best on tablet, desktop, or laptop) eBook: Download a copy onto your device today! Only $5.00