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Thou Canst not then be False to any Troll
Welcome to another adventure from the Thousand Acre Woods deep within Trollheim of the NJ Pine Belt! Tales Chronicled by Jonathan Hulton. That's me. This week Helgi and her daughter have to deliver a home remedy to Karl without getting hoodwinked on the bill...
Helgi and Angrboða were traveling to bring Karl a mullein and garlic tincture. They made it from the herbs in Helgi's garden. Helgi warned her daughter not to trust Karl. She was sure he would try to convince them into some type of shell game to get out of paying them. Once Helgi had let her get swindled. Karl gave her a bag of magical beans for some sweet Annie he was going to use for his absinthe. Angrboða learned quickly not to trust him.
A week later, a giant mullein grew up to the stars and Helgi's cousin yelled a greeting down to her. She apologized to her cousin and said she'd message an explanation later. Then, she hacked the mullein down before her daughter woke up.
Karl answered the door, "Thank you; my ears are killing me."
"Do you know how you injured them?" asked Helgi.
"I sold a group of Lenape a hundred pigskins I stole off the corpses at the pig farm on Sooy Road," Karl said nonchalantly. "My ears haven't stopped ringing since they found out. I'm sure I'm the talk of the Pines…"
"I'm sorry, the tincture will only bring temporary relief. With that many squaw tongues wagging," Angrboða added. She shook her head in a condescending fashion.
"What makes it worse is that they also found out." Karl smiled and shrugged, hands raised, and said, "I've kept five albino buckskins from Wheatland."
"OK, Karl," Helgi interrupted. "Do you have the pound of lion's mane to settle your monthly tab."
"I do have this magic powder to bring things back to life," said Karl, while Helgi slapped her forehead.
"How does it work?" Angrboða asked while Helgi gave her the queerest of looks. "Mom, I saw you cutting down the giant mullein; so how does it work?"
"Just scatter it on the bones and you can eat as much mutton as Thor does daily for the rest of your life!" Karl said with all honesty, that of the Sicilian, in the ancient adage.
Helgi left before her daughter could conclude the bargain.
Later in the week, Angrboða was walking with her father. Bjorn pointed at the bones of a black bear, "It's a shame he died so young."
"You knew this bear?"
"Yes, quite well!"
So Angrboða threw the magic powder on the bones. Within an instant, the bear grew back its organs, bones, sinew, skin, fur, and everything.
Once the bear opened its eyes. It growled at Bjorn and began to chase them.
"Dad, I thought you'd said you knew him?"
"Yes, he has hated me ever since the day I snuck up on him and smacked him on the ass and ran away…"
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Fiction/ Illustrated Fantasy/ Mythology / Scandinavian Myth/ Norse Sagas / Scandinavian Folk Lore / Coffee Table Book
Paperback: $45 | Hardcover: $65 | PDF eBook $5
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Following the Harry N. Abrams, Inc. tradition of the series that created Brian Froud's and Alan Lee's Faeries and Gnomes by Wil Huygen and Rien Poortvliet, we present you with what would have been the next book in the series: Trolls: A Compendium. Trolls—do you think you know what they are? Could you be wrong?
Trolls within Scandinavian lore, myth, saga, fantasy, and folktales are actually anything magical within our northern neighbor's culture. Richly illustrated (over 600 paintings) in this volume are the tales of faeries, dwarves, nissen, huldras, gods, Jotuns, draugar, ghosts, and more. Also, this book introduces our readers to the world of Trollheim, populated by Nattrolls that escaped the 17th-century Swedish colony within the New Jersey Pine Barrens. Narrated by Christopher Jonathan Hulton, who lives in the Thousand Acre Woods just after the Civil War, their tales are filled with Native American lore and tales of their neighbor, the Jersey Devil.
Preview: Google Books
Hardcover: $65.00
PDF (non-flowable, best on tablet, desktop, or laptop) eBook: Download a copy onto your device today! Only $5.00